No shirt, no shoes, no service.

I just ate a bag of mushy blueberries. I’m ready to go. Are you?

I’m in the mood to just jump right into things today. With this first topic of discussion I know I have at least a 98% chance of getting all or most of you to go “oh mah gawd like I knowwww righttt?” (complete with the long, drawn out, valley girl ending…you too boys). That being said, what the hell is up with abandoned shoes on the highway?

This morning I’m driving to work with my dad (carpooling = eco friendly and trafic insanity preventing!) and I look to my left and I see a dress shoe strewn carelessly under the guardrail on the highway meridian. At first I just apathetically think “wow, now that person only has one shoe. Sucks.” Then, about a half mile down the road, I see the other shoe laying there in the same fashion. Now I know that person has zero shoes and I would LOVE to know how and why that has happened to this unfortunate individual.

There are so many possibilities to potential highway shoe loss that I can think of. Was Johnny McHappyfeet driving with his feet out the window and decided he wanted some fresh air caressing his piggies? Or was it Cindy O’TwinkleToes who’s friends mercilessly ripped her shoes off while she was immersed in a road trip slumber and, while of course taking pleanty of memorable photos to document such a prank, threw them out the window never to be worn again?

It’s a bit more understandable when you see children’s shoes on the highway because those little demons are throwing crap around all the time, but big people shoes (yes. big people)? Come on. What does that shoeless individual do as soon as they reach their destination shoeless? What if they need to go into a conveinance store? No shirt, no shoes, no service. Sorry buddy, no cigs for you and your shoeless ass!

Highway Shoes

Someone donate these to the "shoeless due to highway" fund

I did have three more topics jotted down in my handy dandy notebook to cover, but I really care about your eyes so I may opt to save one for Sunday’s post and completely forgo the other one.

  1. I’m abandoning this: Sharpies smell awesome. You too know you want to sniff them as frequesntly as elementary school cracked out kids.
  2. I’m talking about this on Sunday: What dad REALLY wants.

That leaves me with my last topic of nothing nothing-land thoughts for the day.

My job requires little to no brain power, but I get paid a lot to do it and my Dad gave me the job so why wouldn’t I take it. Unfortunately, since I could be a vegetable and do this job rather well, that also means it is extremely, mind blowing, absurdly, and unbelievably boring. Yes everyone, I am talking about data entry.

Because of the bore factor that means I can operate on a very low brain setting (aka in la la land) and think about things I’ve deemed more important than what I’m typing. Sitting at my desk today, typing the names of companies into an excel spreadsheet, I made a rare discovery pertaining to what I was actually physically doing for once. I realized that people make some interesting and highly questionable decisions when it comes time to name their companies. On today’s list of:

“You Probably Should Have Thought Twice About Your Company Name”

We have…
  1. Jim Did It! Sign Co.
  2. P. M. & S. Personal Movers
  • Dear Jim, What exactly did you do? Because if you made my sign and it looks like shit, I’ll know who to kill without asking anyone. Thank you. Also, when I think of the phrase, “So and So Did it!” I think of little kids screaming this to their parents in an accusatory manner. So what this basically means is that every time I think about your company’s name it’s going to have a negative connotation for me. That is what you wanted, right?
  • You most certainly ARE ‘personal movers aren’t you? I don’t know about everyone else, but I love when my movers remind me of my premenstrual syndrome. It makes me feel like we have a real connection and I am SO glad we can talk about mother nature’s overly generous and enjoyable gift to each and every woman. Guys, just make sure you don’t bleed all over the white couch please. That would be fantastic. 

Well everyone. That was today’s episode and thanks for stopping by! As usual, I would love to hear what your idling mind thought about these topics! Even if you’re producing nothing relevant to what was discussed here and have something else on the brain, shout that out too! I’d love to hear it 🙂

I bid thee all adieu

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. odintangvald
    Jun 19, 2009 @ 13:57:20

    I know how you feel about mindless labor in cubicles. I’ve marveled at my discovery for StumbleUpon. (I highly suggest it, and laugh in the face of how much actual work-time you’ll lose in the process.)

    I’m stuck in a cubicle as well, and I’m coding for a Kiosk application for the incoming freshman.

    I want to gouge out my eyeballs with a pen sometimes.

    Reply

    • Mel
      Jun 19, 2009 @ 14:32:44

      Please save your eyes and gouge someone else’s out!

      I shall check out this “stumbleupon”. I’m already excited about its potential distraction capabilities!

      Thanks 🙂

      Reply

  2. matthewyannie
    Jun 19, 2009 @ 14:55:18

    my comment comes in a series of parts.

    firstly, data entry sucks.
    secondly, sharpies do smell good.
    thirdly, dad wants sex from mom.
    lastly, miss you mel!!!

    Reply

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