Stuffed animals can party too.

I love songs with an complete and absolute emotional identity crisis. Thank you Drake for the latest round of this growing species of mental song disorder. In the same song:

  • “Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted… you the fucking best, you best I ever had…” = nice(ish)
  • “Get it from the back And make yo fucking bra strap pop All up in yo slot until the ***** hit the jackpots” = naughty

To me this translates as:

“Yes honey, you are the best and I appreciate you GETTING ALL UP ON ME AND LETTING ME RIDE YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL of course I will love you until the end of time and I will not cheat on you with any other girl unless YOU DON’T LET ME POP YOUR BRA STRAP THE WAY I WANT TO BECAUSE ALL YOU ARE GOOD FOR IS SEX that of course I will only have with you if you really would like to because sex is obviously not the only important thing in my life WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT OF COURSE IT IS THAT IS THE ONLY REASON I WANT TO BE WITH YOU because you’re the best I ever had…”

Cool!

Minor update. I’m violently angry at the weather. I have a brand SPANKING new longboard that I have currently only been able to ride one time due to the heinous display of weather occuring in mother nature these past however many weeks. I’m calling upon anyone with the ability to alter the course of the weather to fix this immediately. So basically, I’m looking for Storm. From X-Men. Thanks.

My beautiful yet trapped bebe

My beautiful yet trapped bebe

So here’s the dealio. My sister is currently in el hospital con mi madre because she needed to get her gal bladder removed. A sack full of stones at 13. Go figure. That being established; I am home alone this fine evening. I was really looking forward to this new venture into solitude. Without going into the entire story of what happened with my day… I didn’t get back home until 9 30, couldn’t go on my run, and because of that fact, I ventured into the ever so common demise of eating my family out of house and home beacuse I was bored. What I’m trying to say here is that we, as a human race, need a cure for random bouts of boredom. I have found that cure.

Prepare yourselves. Stuffed Animals. NEED. To come. To life. THINK ABOUT IT. I don’t know about all of you, but I have a solid collection of stuffed animals. I’m not even counting the beanie babies. That is an entirely different matter on its own. When I was younger I used to rotate which stuffed animals I would sleep with so that “none of their feelings would get hurt”. I would bring some on trips, say goodbye in the morning, and play with them at night like they were really involved in some kind of magical scene.

Yes. I had a lot of human friends growing up. Thank you very much.

But if stuffed animals could come to life, you would NEVER have to be worried about being bored at home anymore and having to resort to eating! Isn’t that magical!? It’s basically like Toy Story. Only these are stuffed animals alone, and they aren’t trying to escape their eternal entrapment in your room. They merely want to be your life time friend and boredom eliminator

I would love to see this concept created into some kind of realistic expression of what I’m imagining. How twisted and awesome would that be to literally SEE what it would be like if you walked into the other room and Poopsie the elephant was throwing a kegger on your living room floor? Insane. Even better, for old time’s sake; Wicked Pissah.

We're waiting for you....

We're waiting for you....

This isn’t okay. It’s too late and I am making legitimately ZERO sense. I promise the next post will be a MILLION times better than these and will atually make sense. Unlike this one that lacks even and iota of something telligible.

Good night.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. odintangvald
    Jun 24, 2009 @ 01:53:19

    I imagine something between Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and Conker’s Bad Fur Day.

    “TWO ENTER, ONE LEAVES.”

    Cage match full of fluff and stuff. Forks included.

    Reply

  2. matthewyannie
    Jun 25, 2009 @ 15:56:53

    mel thats what pets are for, they are living stuffed animals

    Reply

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