Minimum order of 25? But I only want one…

DISCOVERY DAY!

Currently sitting at work (what’s new, right?) and I realize I have mentally exhausted any further progress on my current task. Time to play with Google.

I’m sure I don’t need to tell anyone this twice, but you’d be amazed at what you can find on the internet. I’m sure my discoverey isn’t out of the ordinary and I’m definitely not the first person to stumble upon this brilliant business (the farming world would agree — you’ll soon see why), but I was so excited about my discovery that I promptly began making outrageous plans.

Trafficking. Yep, trafficking. THE LEGAL TRAFFICKING OF CHICKS, WATERFOWL, AND OTHER RARE-BREED FOWL OF COURSE!

Guineas - I want them.

This is a simple process:

  1. Type: “Order Chickens” in Google
  2. Select a website of your choosing from the abundance of sites that appear
  3. Saunter through your wide array of possible selections of fowl
  4. Choose a breed of fowl to your liking (I want a guinea)
  5. Approach the order-form with care
    1. This means keep in mind that chicks generally need to be ordered in groups of 25 or more, while mallards (ducks) need only be ordered one at a time
  6. Select the date from which you would like your batch of fowl (some birds are only available during certain months)
  7. Log in as a new memeber (unless you are already a member)
  8. Select payment method and shipping destination (I didn’t make it this far yet, but I’m assuming)
  9. Prepare for the magnificence of FOWL and ready your home for house-bird training

Nine steps to pure bird bliss. Who wants a talking parrot when you can literally order 8 peacocks for the small starting price of $380.00? Feeling cheap? Order one mallard for $5.00. The possibilities are endless. This sounds like a plug – I’m not even getting paid! I’m just THAT excited.

Quack.